


Feelings

by Emilill



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Awkward Conversations, Awkward Flirting, F/M, First Kiss, Honesty, Love, Love Confessions, Memories, Repressed Memories, Talking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-28
Updated: 2018-09-28
Packaged: 2019-07-18 14:47:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,142
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16120706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emilill/pseuds/Emilill
Summary: One night, when Qui-Gon is already asleep, Obi-Wan Kenobi and Duchess Satine Kryze have a very honest conversation about each other and their feelings. But are things really what they seem?





	Feelings

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't written fanfics in a while, so I hope it doesn't suck.I wanted to finish it before Obitine week ended, and it seems like I succeeded! This is like the first time I maneged to finish writing something in time.

Three figures lay on the floor in the dark. Qui-Gon Jinn, Duchess Satine Kryze and Obi-Wan Kenobi respectively. They were seemingly asleep, but two of them were kept awake by their thoughts.

Obi-Wan reached out to Qui-Gon trough the Force to find out if he was awake. Naturally, he wasn't, like any reasonable person. The young Jedi sat up, leaning to a wall, as he heard a soft female voice.  
"Can't sleep?"  
He looked in the direction he heard it from. He saw Satine's shadowy figure looking at him, her head lifting up from the makeshift pillow.

"I'm afraid so."  
"Aren't you going to be tired tomorrow?"  
"I could ask the same thing from you. But no. I've had many sleepless nights since we started protecting you, Duchess."  
"How come?"  
"Considering our circumstances, it would be unsafe to sleep unguarded and..."  
"Right."

After a few moments of awkward silence, Obi-Wan spoke up again.  
"Look, Satine, I'm sorry for dropping you after we escaped from the venom mites. I... I didn't mean to..."  
"I know. I'm sorry for shouting. I hit my leg on a rock, and lost my temper."  
They were silent again, the lack of sound burning their ears and hearts.  
"Could you sit next to me, Obi?"  
"Satine, I..."  
"Please!"

She was giving him _that_ look. He could see it even in the darkness.  
"Alright."  
He stood up silently, not wanting to wake his master, and moved to her side. As soon as he sat down, the Duchess lay her head on his shoulder. He could sense her distress.

"What's wrong?"  
"Nothing."  
"I know there's something bothering you. I can feel your anxiety. And you're not your usual self."  
"What is that supposed to mean?"  
"It means we haven't argued in over a day."  
Satine just remained silent.

"Really, what's wrong?"  
"You."  
"What?"  
"You. And your face. And your kindness. And your wit. And everything about you."  
"Why? Do you still dislike me?"

She lifted her head off his shoulder and looked into his eyes.  
"No! You... You... Ugh! It's... The opposite!"  
"So... You like me?"  
"Well... That's one way of saying it. But... Well... It's not just _'like'_." she looked away from his gaze "It's _'like like'_."  
"I'm sorry, but I don't understand that."

Satine rolled her eyes so hard, Obi-Wan could barely see her pupils.  
"Gah! You... You... You are so... Frustrating! You're going to make me say it, aren't you?"  
"Say what?"

Obi-Wan was genuinely confused. He knew Satine was aware that although he was good at negotiating, he wasn't the best at casual socializing, but this must've been something obvious, judging by her expression. She turned her head away from him.

"That I love you..."  
Her whisper was barely audible.  
"What?"  
"That I love you, you dingus!"

They stayed silent for a while. Obi-Wan was still processing her words. They made him feel warm inside. He felt like this was... Right. Even though he shouldn't have. He knew those words shouldn't have made him feel good. Attachment was forbidden, and Satine had just expressed her attachment to him. He should have felt nothing. He should have told her that he can't return her feelings. That they couldn't be together. But at that moment, he didn't do the logical thing. He couldn't have said those words, even if he wanted to. Because as much as he wanted to deny it, he had also developed feelings for the Duchess. He wanted to think that it was just admiration. He did admire her a lot. She was determined, albeit sometimes stubborn, she was faithful to her pacifist ways, she was brave and intelligent. He had had the best debates of his life with her. But deep inside, he knew that it was more than just that. There was something... Different about her. Something that made him feel something he had never experienced before. He couldn't quite grasp it, but it was certainly a positive feeling. And as she said the word "love", he realized what it was. He realized that her feelings were mutual. So he spoke without thinking.

"Can I kiss you?"  
"Excuse me?"  
Satine wasn't the only one who was surprised. Obi-Wan startled himself as well. The reality of the situaton hit him like a wave of icy water. He was a Jedi, and he was in love, with the Duchess of Mandalore herself! All of the teachings about attachment swarmed in his head.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that. It's not right, the Jedi Code forbids it."  
"The Jedi think it's wrong, but do you?"  
"What do you mean by that?"  
"What I mean is, what do you feel? Do you feel like it's right? Forget about the Jedi for a moment, and decide for yourself! Do you feel like us being... Together is right?"

Obi-Wan thought about everything for a moment.  
"Well... I feel like... It's... Right."  
"Then yes... You can kiss me."

They locked eyes. Obi-Wan hadn't kissed anyone before, but so hadn't Satine. As their faces got closer and closer, Obi-Wan's hand started shaking. What if he messed up? Was he a bad kisser? But he didn't have time to think about anything. The moment their lips brushed, his doubts vanished, and he closed his eyes. Somehow at that moment he knew exactly what to do. The kiss turned out longer than they expected. Obi-Wan pulled away first. When he looked at Satine, he saw she was smiling, and saw a mischievous glint in her eyes. The next thing he felt was her lips crashing onto his again with newfound passion. He felt her hand playing with his padawan braid, and he almost instinctively lifted his hands to her waist. As their lips moves in sync, Obi-Wan decided, that for once he didn't care about the Code. He didn't care if he'd get punished for this. He didn't worry about the consequences. All that mattered was her. Them. Together.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Obi-Wan woke up in his bed on Tatooine. He sat up and took a deep breath. He had tried to forget these old memories, but it seemed like his subconscious wouldn't let him. He tried to erase memories of good times. With Satine, with Qui-Gon... With Anakin. They only caused pain. How long had it been since the Republic fell? Five or six years? He couldn't tell. It didn't matter anymore. Nothing mattered anymore besides protecting Luke. He shouldn't dwell on the past. He can't change it. A single tear rolled down his cheek. He can't bring his loved ones back. He could talk to Qui-Gon through the Force occasionally. But Anakin wasn't himself anymore. Obi-Wan had failed him, and he'd failed at stopping him as well. Ahsoka was likely killed by the clones. And Satine... She died in his arms. And now he'll never get to see her again. Never. Never. Never.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed it! If you did, leave kudos, I'd really appreciate it!  
> If you have any constructive criticism, please do comment it!  
> Thanks for reading!


End file.
